Save the World by Saving the Family

I have absolutely LOVED taking this course this semester. I could never even begin to describe all that I have learned.

The overarching theme of this course, at least the one that has resonated with me, is that if we wish to save to world, we must do it by saving the family. I like this quote from Barbara Bush:

“Whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.”

My future family, although I have not met its members yet, is among my very most important priorities. I am doing my best to allow the Lord to shape my character to be a wife and mother and woman who is kind, loving, gentle, meek, teachable, and strong in the strength of the Lord.

Divorce

Divorce is something that I have very mixed emotions about. It is because of divorce that both of my wonderful parents were able to escape and recover from the extremely unhealthy and abusive marriages they were in and later meet each other, marry, and have me and my little brother. On the other hand, I feel that divorce is considered too common and easily accessible of an option in today's society. Marriage is supposed to be difficult at times, it is, after all, the Lord's finishing school for His children. Perhaps too many people enter marriage thinking it will be a good way to satisfy their "What's in it for me?" attitude about life. We cannot be successful in our marriages and in our families if we are constantly thinking about how our needs will be met and how we will be fulfilled. H. Wallace Goddard teaches in his amazing book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage (incredible book, I recommend it to everyone) that in marriage, we will find the most joy and fulfillment by focusing on filling our spouse's "love cup" as much as possible, and then that love will spill over onto us. 


There are certainly times when a marriage does need to end. In those cases, my heart absolutely goes out to the broken families who are victims to such an unfortunate circumstance. What a blessing it is to know that we have a Savior who's Atonement can heal all wounds, including emotional and spiritual ones, and can heal relationships. What joyous news this is!

My Amazing Parents

This week we learned about parenting. I learned SO much, Brother Williams is an incredible teacher. The things I learned and read about made me appreciate my amazing parents even more. Mike and Cheryl Carson are two of the most amazing people you will ever meet. They love the Lord and they love to serve Him. They are wonderful listeners and advice givers. I would like to take a moment to talk about each of them individually. :)

My Dad

Micheal Ray Carson: incredible musician and even more amazing father. He makes the best waffles and has a great laugh. He is fun to watch movies with and still takes me out on daddy-daughter dates. He is gentle and loving and without guile. 

One of my favorite childhood memories of him happened when I was about four. I was pretending to be the scullery-maid version of Cinderella, so I wanted to scrub our kitchen floor on my hands and knees like she does in the movie. In my four-year-old mind I thought that liquid dishwashing soap would be the best thing to use to get the linoleum especially clean. As I scrubbed, bubbles and foam began to rise inches above the floor, so I scrubbed harder to make them go away. Obviously this only made the suds multiply, until I was literally up to my elbows in them.  I was sure that I was in big trouble. I began to cry as I continued to scrub. I heard my Dad’s footsteps behind me and I was terrified of the punishment I was sure I would receive, not because I thought it the nature of my father to punish, but because I was sure that was what my terrible misdeed called for. I was surprised when my father, laughing under his breath, knelt down to my level and asked so gently and calmly, “Are you Cinderella today?” I nodded as I wiped my tears away. “Here, let me help you clean up these bubbles.”

My Dad is amazing. I love him so much. :)

Those of you who have had the privilege of listening to my Dad's music know just how lucky you are. :)

My Mom

My dear, kind, sweet, beautiful mother: Cheryl Ann Higginson Carson. This lady is a doll. I am so grateful for her. She and I talk for hours on end and I consider her to be my best friend. She is an amazing author and speaker and has a beautiful gospel-oriented perspective on life. Also, she is CONSTANTLY crocheting. And what for? To donate the things she makes to the Humanitarian Center. She is so selfless and caring, I look up to her so much.

Here is a picture of her with some of her creations. Those are doll dresses behind her!!! (My Dad and she had a little photo shoot.)

Here is one up close. Isn't it darling? :)

I love my parents so much. They are truly incredible people. I will forever be grateful to them for all that they are and all that they have done and do for me!

What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up?

I am currently studying Child Development. When people used to ask me what I wanted to do with my degree, I would tell them all about how cool it would be to work in Psycho-social Rehabilitation or be a Child Life Specialist. Sometimes I would tell people I was really close to what I really wanted to do: be a mother. Why was I so bashful about this? Because we live in a world today where being a stay-at-home-mom is looked down upon. Lately I have had a change of heart toward the way I feel about what I really want to do with my life and my time. Being a mother to God's precious children is the most noble thing that I could possibly do. And even more importantly, I know it is what He wants me to do. Now, if you ask me what I want to do with my education, I will tell you openly and proudly, "I want to be a mommy." And that is the honest truth. I love this quote by Marjorie Hinckley:
“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. 
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. 
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. 
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. 
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. 
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” 

Communication--what does that even mean?

Today in class we began our discussions on communication, and it was SO interesting! It really helped me realize that having healthy, honest, Christlike patterns of communication in any relationship takes practice and work, and you have to keep at it all your life. That doesn't sound like much fun, does it? Well, maybe at times it isn't, but I know that in my own experiences it has been so rewarding. And making these kinds of sacrifices and filling our hearts with charity and understanding for those we communicate with helps us in our journey to become more like our Savior.

Yesterday in church someone said in their testimony that "Prayer is a form of work. We need to put time and effort into our conversations with Heavenly Father." I had never thought of it that way before, but it is so true! I think of how my prayers used to be when I was younger and I compare them to the way I pray now and the difference is astounding. I have come to love my communication with my Father in Heaven. It is something that I diligently put time and effort into, and the blessings I have seen in my life because of it are endless.

Also, I would like to say that I am very excited for Wednesday. That is the day that we are going to talk about counseling with our spouse and the Lord. I took a marriage class from Brother Williams a few semesters ago, so I know that this is an extremely powerful lesson. Can't wait!

Planning a Marriage or Planning a Wedding?

In class we have been discussing the difference between planning a wedding, and planning a marriage. Although they sometimes get confused, they are two entirely different things. One lasts about a day, while the other lasts for eternity. It is sometimes concering for me to see how cught up some people (ok, mainly just girls) over the flowers, the dress, the pictures, the romance, the attention, and the excitement of her "special day". What a dangerous thing this can be. I am not married, so I cannot consider myself an expert, but from what I do know marriage will certainly be very difficult if a person expects that marriage is full of bliss and romance one hundred percent of the time. My religion teacher this semester mentioned once in class that sometimes people love the attention they get when they are engaged too much, and then after the wedding when they are suddenly just another married couple and the attention is gone, they may feel saddened or empty.

Assuming that I have the opportunity to marry in this life, I plan to spend a lot more time and energy during my engagement actively planning and preparing with my fiance and the Lord for our marriage, than I spend fussing over the big day.

Why Traditional Dating is Becoming Obsolete: My Theory

Sometimes I wish I had been born a few decades ago. Perhaps in the 1930s or 40s or 50s. Back when girls wore skirts and dresses all the time. Back when a lady would conduct herself as a lady and a gentleman would be as chivalrous as could be. Back when single individuals regularly went on real dates. Bobby would call up Norma Jean on the phone and very politely ask her if she would like to go to the movies and then out for banana splits at the local ice cream parlor.

Every day I feel like this type of behavior is becoming more and more rare. Oh how I wish this wasn't the case. Last semester Sister Elaine S. Dalton taught us in a devotional address that actually dating is the best, most effective way to get to know people of the opposite gender and eventually find our right mate. Why then, are more and more people casually "hanging out"? Listen to my theory, (I am not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg, so let's say it is the boy's fault ;) ): Boys stopped asking girls out on dates as frequently, and actual dating became a rare occurrence. Then, girls started getting excessively excited when they did get asked out, over-analyzing the boy's intent behind asking her out. This reaction from the girls put a confusing pressure and strain on the boys in dating situations, which made them ask girls out less. See the cycle? It is tragic.

If only everyone could just chill out and go on dates like we are supposed too. But, I digress. Anyway, there are far more important things that I spend my time and energy thinking and worrying about. :)

Marriage is Between a Man and a Woman

This week my testimony has been strengthened that marriage is ordained of God, and is meant to be between a man and a woman.

Gender is Part of Our Eternal Identity

This week in class we have studied and learned about the significance of gender identity and orientation. The things I have learned have been absolutely fascinating. I thought that I understood a great deal about homosexuality since I have many people in my life who have declared themselves "gay," but I have realized that I understood very little.

http://www2.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.html?StartCue=18&EndCue=2839&VideoName=5687_vcs&VideoType=libraryvideos

I don't know if this link will work or not, but if you can, PLEASE watch this video. It is only 30 minutes, and it will completely change your perception and understanding of homosexuality.

There were two things that were mentioned in this video and then discussed in class that really stood out to me. 1) For every gay couple there is, there are two women who will never marry and have a family. How destructive this is to the Plan!!! 2) Satan tells men who are innately sensitive, loving, and gentle that there is something wrong with them, they are queer, and they do not fit into the glorious Plan of Salvation or family unit. What incredible husbands and fathers these individuals would have made if only they had been accepted and nurtured properly.

Can you even believe how beautiful it is?

I am definitely going there someday. :)

The Family is Ordained of God

Over the past week in Family Relations class we have been learning about family systems. It has made me think a lot about how there are so many families that do not consist of a father, a mother, and children. This design is ordained of God. I know this to be true. Satan is a very smart guy, and he has figured out that if he can break up families, he can also oftentimes destroy the joy of the gospel within individuals. How tragic this is! I have made a commitment with myself, with my Heavenly Father, and although I don't know who he is yet, with my eternal companion, that I will fulfill my divine role and be a wife and mother. I will have a covenant marriage in the temple and I will dedicate my time to raising children in righteousness. I know that there is no more important work that I can do on this earth. And I know that my Heavenly Father will help me to accomplish this. :)

Here is a picture of my family and me (with blonde hair).

Loving Unconditionally

I recently heard a story that warmed the cockles of my heart. On her wedding day, a young woman made a commitment with herself that she would select ten quirks that her husband had that she would choose never to get frustrated with, that she would love unconditionally. In the flurry of the business of the wedding day, she never got around to making the list, so for their entire marriage, if he ever did or said anything that started to bother her, she would think to herself "Good thing that is on the list" and dismiss it.
I love this story.I believe that it is one of the big reasons why we are to get married: so we can learn true charity.
President Joseph F. Smith said: "We all have our weaknesses and failings. Sometimes the husband sees a failing in his wife, and he upbraids her for it. Sometimes the wife feels that her husband has not done just the right thing, and she upbraids him. What good does it do? Is not forgiveness better? Is not charity better? Is not love better? Isn't it better not to speak of faults, not to magnify weaknesses by iterating and reiterating them? Isn't that better? And will not the union that has been cemented between you and the birth of children and by the bond of the new and everlasting covenant, be more secure when you forget to mention weaknesses and faults one of another? Is it not better to drop them and say nothing about them--bury them and speak only of the good that you know and feel, one for another, and thus bury each other's faults and not magnify them; isn't that better?"

Worldy Trends

One of the things in this life that I feel most passionately about is the importance of the family. I love my family with all my heart, they are some of the most amazing people you will ever meet. I greatly look forward to the time in my life when I will have my own family. I know that the family unit is ordained of God.


Today in my Family Relations class we discussed some of the trends that are occurring in the world today concerning the family. One of the topics we discussed was divorce. I took a marriage class last semester that really changed the way that I view divorce. I used to think, as most people do, that divorce is an unfortunate but necessary "out" when infidelity or other difficult problems occur in marriage. I feel very differently now, and I take temple sealings much more seriously. I now feel that they are something that should never be broken. I learned in my class that most of the time the answer is repentance rather than divorce. When I get married one day I intend to have a marriage where divorce is not even an option, not in our vocabulary.


I am so grateful to belong to a church where the family unit so so valued. I love the family and I love my family.